I catch my reflection and see you staring back at me. I think of all you’ve had to endure, struggling with what I see. Making me feel insecure.
Before you changed, you housed the tiniest of lives, but only for a few weeks that time,
and there started a journey full of trauma, an uphill struggle, a mountain to climb.
We eventually decided that we needed help and punctured you with needles till you bruised, we pumped you with hormones, still no joy, to comfort food we turned whilst sadness ensued.
In our second attempt, we had better news, you were keeping safe our miracle son,
In complete awe of how you were doing this, I showed you off to everyone.
Even though you were bigger than I had ever known, I lovingly cupped my hands around you, feeling for even the slightest of movements, which gave me hope as you grew!
Expanding in all directions, the stretch marks started to appear, like the bold stripes on a tiger, I still wondered whether they would ever clear!
After Diyan was born, you wobbled and flapped, the time to get you toned came once more, so I exercised, ate a little better and managed to squeeze into my clothes from before.
But then sadly two miscarriages followed, throwing at you yet more pain, so I turned to what made me temporarily happy, indulging in comfort food once again.
Then came our second miracle, we thanked our lucky stars, in safely delivering Niya, they cut you open and left us with scars.
The road to recovery has been so long and not one I was prepared for, but when I think of all you’ve been through, I can’t help but love you that little bit more.
You are marked with so many reminders, that I’m stronger than I ever knew, I will always be grateful for all of you, for I know so many long for their miracles too!
You’re now my badge of honour, a symbol of strength and love, through the highest of highs and lowest of lows, you’re the life-giving mummy tummy I’m so proud of!